The Chronicles of Corona: 50 days of social distancing

When we first started social distancing, Mummy very optimistically decided to write a weekly blog about what we’ve been up to. Within a week, school closures were announced and soon afterwards the full lockdown followed. After a grand total of two weekly blog posts, Mummy quickly concluded that this was unsustainable due to a complete and utter lack of time for blogging and nothing interesting to talk about anyway. But with 50 days of social distancing down, she felt like now might be a good time to dust off the keyboard.

It’s been 50 days since the government announced its social distancing measures. 50 days of limiting physical contact to the four people who live in this house. 50 days of Quaver screaming “TWO METRES” at every other human she encounters on our daily walks. And 50 days of having to resist stroking all the excellent cats and dogs we meet on said walks (although Mummy has got in some sneaky strokes with an attention-starved canine who came running over and sat on her foot!)

Mummy’s new canine friend!

Seven weeks without having to wear work clothes. Six weeks of having two small colleagues who use up the internet bandwidth with Joe Wicks, Google hangouts and Zoom ballet classes. Six weeks of muting our own conference calls to break up fights, provide snacks and plug in the tablets that seem to be constantly out of charge. Six weeks of trying to balance screen time rules with a desire to get some bloody work done or have a weekend coffee in peace. 50 days of constantly loading and unloading the dishwasher. One emergency trip to Screwfix to buy a drain unblocking rod, followed by several unpleasant hours using it. No new skills learned (rudimentary plumbing aside). No novels written. Too little sleep.

Seven weekends of finding new forms of family fun. Many miles walked. Two sets of grandparents taught to teleconference. Five Lego sets constructed. Four new Lego sets ordered. Three online escape games completed. Three loaves of banana bread baked. Four batches of banana waffles consumed. Too many takeaways to keep track. And an exponential increase in alcohol consumption.

In our house we don’t just have waffles. We have Mickey Mouse waffles!

51 days since any of us set foot in a theatre. Two show cancellations and one postponement. Thirteen show recordings, two live-stream concerts, five episodes of Tweedy ‘s Lost & Found and one interactive Zoom-based show watched online to date. Yet another extension to theatre closures announced today. 50 days down but it’s only an interval. We’ll be back as soon as it’s safe for the curtains to come back up. In the meantime, you’ll find us here shouting about family friendly theatre from the safety of the sofa.